Every year my friend group makes the same mistake: someone says “let’s all do a group costume” in late September, six people say yes, and by October 20th we’re down to three people in matching t-shirts and a leftover pile of foam. The trouble with Halloween costumes for a group of 5 is that five…
The first time I tried to put a costume on my cat, Biscuit, she went completely flat, like a pancake with opinions, and slid out of the pumpkin sweater in about four seconds. I got one blurry photo of her mid-escape. It’s still my favorite picture of her, but it taught me the main rule…
Last October I watched a very pregnant coworker spend an entire office party tugging at a store-bought costume that was clearly cut for someone with a flat stomach. The zipper wouldn’t close, the sleeves rode up, and by 8 p.m. she had changed into her own sweatshirt. That’s the trap with Halloween costumes for pregnant…

My aunt Diane is 67, and for years she skipped Halloween parties entirely because, in her words, “everything in the costume aisle looks like it’s for someone’s daughter.” Two years ago her book club talked her into going as Agatha Christie — a simple tweed skirt, a strand of pearls, and a magnifying glass she…

My neighbor Pat is 58, and every year she throws the best Halloween party on our street — and every year, at least one person shows up in something that’s clearly meant for a 22-year-old and just doesn’t sit right on them, and you can tell they know it. Last year she pulled me aside…

I spent three Halloweens in a row buying “plus size” costumes online that were cut for someone a full size smaller than the label said, then safety-pinning myself into something that looked nothing like the photo. My friend Danielle finally staged an intervention over group text last September — she sent me a screenshot of…

I put together my freshman year Halloween costume in my dorm’s communal bathroom mirror with a $6 eyeliner pencil and a wig I’d bought for a completely different occasion, and it’s still one of my favorite costumes I’ve ever worn. College Halloween isn’t like adult Halloween — you’ve got a shared closet the size of…

My friend Danielle and I once spent an entire October arguing about whether we were doing Cheetah Girls or Thelma and Louise, and honestly the fact that we couldn’t agree for three weeks tells you something — most duo costume lists give you two options and call it a day. That’s not helpful when you…

I’ve bought fabric for a costume exactly once and used it exactly zero times. It sat in my closet for two Halloweens before I finally admitted I was never going to hand-sew anything and just bought a wig instead. That’s basically the origin story for this list — I got tired of Pinterest boards full…